…and Satan can’t hold us down.

Here it is…the last few weeks are being counted down before our Bissa team departs for Accra, Ghana for the 8th time (this will be my 2nd time going).  It is surreal.  As we have been preparing, reading, studying, and memorizing so much- trying to internalize the gospels and different techniques of sharing Christ with a foreign nation, it has been interesting to see how God manifests Himself.  The process of preparing your mind and body for a two week trip unlike anything you are use to can be physically, mentally, and spiritually draining and yet it can also give way to so many opportunities for God to really make Himself known in a new and different way.  Each of us going has battled the issue of lack of time, sickness of our bodies or relatives, and then just fear of the unknown.  I mean, even though i have been, the fear of the unknown is still there for me.

You know, satan doesn’t want us to go.  Just over the last week we have lost 2 of our team members due to critical family matters.  I know for me, I’ve been battling with this stupid sinus cold for a few weeks now.  It’s had me tired beyond belief and unmotivated to sit and learn, and scared that I wouldn’t be able to shake it before we left for Ghana.  Satan wants us to feel defeated when things begin going in a different direction than we had anticipated.  But God, in His absolute control, knows what He is doing. I often think that when God hears my thoughts of complaining about how I feel, or being worried about the team, or even my feelings of uncertainty, that He is chuckling because of y simplemindedness. God knows the greater plan…He knew we’d lose 2 team members, that we’d all be sick at some point, that raising support for the trip would come with some difficulty- BUT He knows we can do it.  He knows that every bump in this journey is crucial and specific in furthering His kingdom.  Matter of fact, it doesn’t even matter how much discomfort I have…I’m just a vessel for His message.

Satan can’t hold us down, because GOD, in His mercy and grace, IS HOLDING US UP.  I’m not worthy of it, but He’s doing it.  I don’t deserve it, but He’s called us to go.  I don’t know about you, but when I think about how much He really doesn’t NEED US to carry the message of Christ, but yet CHOSE US to carry it, I’m amazed, grateful, and feel pretty undeserving.

Preparations for another trip

Today  January 29th marks 3 weeks until I will be leaving for Ghana for the second time….and I am MORE NERVOUS about this time than I was the very first time I decided to do go.

We haven’t been publicizing it all that much, mostly by word of mouth, but I will be going to Accra, Ghana again this February.  When I felt the call to go the first time it felt surreal until the day we left, and even then it was really weird leaving the country.  Even now, it still feels crazy to say that I’ve been.  Being given another opportunity to go reminds me of just how unworthy I am, but exhilarating as well!!!

I still can remember the very first time we stepped foot on foreign soil- in a country I read about, heard about through stories, and prayed about- but had never been to.  Africa, in general appears as this far off, incredibly “unknown” territory to most Americans anyway- so I wasn’t out of the norm in getting off the plane feeling so unprepared and scared of what was to come.  Anytime you do foreign missions I think you have this reality check- “I am not in my home country- therefore no one owes me anything- no food, no respect, no protection.”  In Accra, they don’t care about who you are in America, because they don’t know you.

It certainly brings you to a whole other place of humility when you know you are not in control, but that the almighty God who made you has ordained your every movement on this planet and knew you’d be where you are.  Somehow God allowed me: someone who is no one special, to go to another country on HIS BEHALF.  I KNOW I don’t deserve that- But He thought it was good then, and somehow thinks it is good that I do it again.

There are a thousand plus thoughts spinning in my head every day we get closer to leaving and so many things that could keep me in America but haven’t!

1.  I just got married a few months ago, and my partner-in-crime, my soul mate, my best friend- Matt, my husband- can’t go with me.  It stinks- and I feel pretty awful that he won’t be there to see all that I see.  Matt tells me all the time, “Em, God called you to do this and you’re gonna go, no matter what.”  It’s pretty awesome having a husband that is so God-fearing and God-honoring.  Even though I’m sure he’s a little afraid too, he doesn’t show it and never complains about it.  God truly blessed me with such a great partner for life (but thats a WHOLE other blog I need to write later because I could go on for days about how I don’t deserve him, but God brought us together).

2. Then there is the whole thing with support money- we were instructed to pray that God would bring the spiritual and financial support to provide the means for this trip.  Holy-Moly I certainly don’t have that yet…I’m relying on Him to bring that in for sure!  And of course it will come- I know that, but there is always that slight like voice in the back of my head that makes me think I’ll be broke after I come home.  I really do love raising the support though.  It’s absolutely amazing to see other believers encourage you and respond to the Holy Spirit and give you the gift of spiritual and financial support.  In Gods world, money ain’t a thang!

3. I love you guys- I love to see your faces every sunday morning,small group, and on Wednesdays.  Being gone for nearly two weeks is a hard thing to do because I’m so use to being here.  However, I know that God uses times like these to really equip me as well as others for their area of ministry.  There may be something that I see, hear, or do while I am there that will give me the tools that I need to come home and do something new, fresh, or even better than before.

Where’s is heart in foreign missions?  Ever felt a call to GO but thought is was impossible?

Remember, NOTHING is impossible when is comes to God.  He is the God who makes all impossibilities possible.

You had a bad day.

Have you ever just had the most terrible of days?

You know…the kind that you avoid making eye contact with others for fear that they would somehow KNOW you were in a bad mood.  Then they would have to ask you what was wrong…WHY you were upset…and so on and so on.  The kind that you didn’t even TRY getting ready for the day because you just already felt deep down in your bones that it would be a rough day?  The kind that you just didn’t want to leave your house, your room, and well, maybe you even wanted to find a closet to hide in somewhere?

I’ve had those days.  And chances are, you have too.  Perhaps your bad day is TODAY.  I don’t know where you may be at this cold afternoon, or how your heart may be feeling, but I know how a bad day has made me feel before.  They don’t come often, but they sure bring self pity when it is not necessary- because we have all that we could ever want and need- and yet a bad day somehow makes you forget that and forget who you stand for.  It makes you, think about you…and it can get pretty selfish!

So bad days can get pretty bad, but what’s the toughest of all is that so often that’s when hurtful words tend to tear you a part the most.  They don’t have to be intended to crush you, but they do.  So, maybe they are more like “thoughtless words,”-when someone doesn’t actually process that what they say, may take someone down.  THOUGHTless. Yikes, I think I’ve even said a fair share of those myself too.

It may be unclear as to how someone may be feeling one day, and then the next.  And even if you really think hard, you MAY possibly let a few words slip to or about someone that can be quite cutting…  but GOD’S WORDS are pretty clear about all of that.  We can begin to see much clearer when we just take a look at what God has to say about anything- but I was really curious about bad days, and harsh words…so thats where I needed clarity today.

Here is clarity:  Ephesians 4: 21-32

…”assuming that you have hard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self which belongs to your FORMER MANNER OF LIFE and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the NEW SELF, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.  Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.  Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.…Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that is may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

I think that brought me clarity this morning.  Today COULD HAVE BEEN one of those days. And then I read that and decided that not only could I not continue to digress to my old self (the selfish, sometimes self-pitying type), but being the one with awful words was unacceptable too and, because it’s all lumped together, I’m guessing God was clearly trying to say that NOT ENCOURAGING EACH OTHER IN WORDS AND CONVERSATION is just like digressing to that former state as well.

What are your thoughts?  Having a bad day? Are you the reason someone is having a bad day?

good words

There is a blog that I have be following for about 2 years now..

‘The writers name is Anne Jackson- a woman who shares truth, memories, and challenges her readers.  Her words are very thought provoking for me.  I can remember the first time I stumbled across her blog site.  It was a time in my life when I was searching God’s word, tugging with Him to give me answers to some of the toughest questions I have ever had.  I would read God’s word, really trying to soak it all in…marinating on it.  Then I would dare God to show me something I had never seen before.  One particular prayer of mine was for encouragement from a woman who was somewhat like-minded and headed on a path I could see myself going (sometimes its really tough to find, even when you work in ministry).  So, like I said, I could remember this particular day I was reading blogs and I ran across Anne’s blog- and the words and phrases caught my attention.  So I backed it up a little and read over some of her older posts- I read how she was writing a book about her experiences and about being in the church and about burnout.~> If your a volunteer, a giver of your time, a staff member, anybody who serves in ministry at any capacity, you would have identified to come degree with her stance.  Every day I was on her site…and as soon as the book came out,Mad Church Disease, I bought it.  I read it through, 3 times actually…highlighting it, bending the corners of the pages that racked my brain.

Personally, I really love reading other peoples thoughts.  I appreciate that Anne, like so many other bloggers, strives to be transparent with those who are reading her stories- I hope I can do the same… It’s been my prayer that I could push myself to be as open with you all as I could possibly be.  Someone out there has been where I have been…and maybe somehow you’ll read this and know that God’s in control- no matter what.  Or maybe you’ll read this and see that no one is perfect…

Do you have an “Anne Jackson”?  Someone’s blog/thoughts that you read and they really inspire you?

See you tomorrow for Detour!

::drama::

I was writing some dramas today for an upcoming series- wondering if anyone even knew that I came on first at Scotts Hill as a “Drama Intern”.  Perhaps that strikes some of you as odd being that most of the time I’m coordinating trips and such and doing “serious” things.  I use to think that drama interns were sort of loopy, funky, a little out of it.  I mean, I would characterize myself as all of those things- but not contained only to them- I got a lot more to offer- and I’m sure other drama interns do to.

But to get to the point- because this is what I was really thinking about- Isn’t it really amazing that God has perfectly designed each of us with different characteristics, gifts, talents, attributes that aren’t like anyone elses?  I really love that about God.  The fact that He is so CREATIVE- He didn’t make us all look alike, sound alike, or act alike.  We are all different- He talks about this in the New Test.  About how we are all members of the body of Christ- each one having a different job/part but when they are all working together- they make one fluid motion and then the body can work correctly.  In the same way, when they aren’t all using the tools and gifts God gave them, the body can’t function as well or effectively as it could if everyone was using those God given gifts.  What about you?  What’s your part in the body of Christ?  Maybe your an artist, a singer, a writer, a doctor, a teacher, a designer, OR AN ACTOR.

Seriously, if you aren’t using that gift, we can’t work as well without it!  Maybe you need to plug in- get involved!  It doesn’t have to be at Detour- but You never know…maybe YOU could be the NEXT INTERN!

when the tree comes down

So Christmas is officially over, and I’m feeling the sadness that sets in once the tree comes down.  Matt and I worked so hard this year to get our house all decorated and brightly lit.  We went to a local place to pick out our very first christmas tree- the proceeds went to the First Fruits Ministry in Wilmington (a homeless shelter) and we squeezed it on the roof of our car and packed it tight into a corner in our living room.  It was HUGE- filling our living room and almost touching the ceiling-Our families haven’t used REAL christmas trees in ages- So having our first christmas started with the smells of a REAL christmas tree was pretty significant for us!

But now the tree is down- Last night we took it down- piece by piece- first the sweet little ornaments , each one having a special story.  Some of the ornaments were ones we’d had since we were kids, others we gave to eachother our first christmas we were dating, and still others were given for our first christmas together as a married couple.  I loved putting them up, but dreaded pulling them down and putting them away.  We pulled down the tree topper and lights and then finally emptied the tree stand of water and threw away the tree.  I don’t know why it was so sad….maybe because it meant our first christmas was officially over, maybe it was because the smell of pine needles and hot cookies are therapeutic….but more so, I think it’s probably because of why I always hated taking them down when I was a kid.  Christmas signified freedom: freedom from school, work, responsibility.  It meant food, family, and time to just regroup.  It meant being a kid and laughing and making memories.  Somehow, putting the christmas tree up every year started a month-long event of all of those things- and when it came time to remove the item that signified that period of time, it would also mean that all of that was over.

Maybe you identify with this feeling of loss…when all of the christmas decorations are put away, it means you have to get back to the real world.  Isn’t it weird that we get all caught up in a season of the year that can be NOT JUST A SEASON- but a year-round feeling of cheer, giving, loving, cherishing?  What do you think?

its almost jesusmas

Can you believe that it is almost CHRISTmas?  I know for me its as if this year has flown by and so much has happened that it seems as if christmas has almost gotten here without me even realizing it.  For many of you, you know that I married the LOVE OF MY LIFE just a few weeks ago, and this will be our very first christmas together as a married couple!!!  We’ve already decorated the tree (I pushed for a day-after-thanksgiving tree decorating) and our house is all sweetly decorated (I love the smell of a fresh tree and the twinkle of our lights)!  And although Matt (my husband) isn’t much for loving the sounds of christmas music, I’ve done my best to get those rolling at home and around our office!  So we’ve decorated and even began the major workings for yule time, but still, christmas just doesn’t feel like it is really here. I guess I’m the sentimental type and because the craziness of the wedding and the adjustment to being more responsible as a wife has slowed down yet, I really haven’t had the time to ponder much on this MOST IMPORTANT TIME OF THE YEAR.  However, there is one thought I have had…and maybe some of you have had it too…   I wonder if Jesus KNEW HE WAS MY SAVIOR the first moment He opened His eyes for the very first time?  Even more, I wonder if He knew He’d be the one thing that the world needed to be truly reconciled to God?

Well, it’s something to really dig deep on…..How about any of you?  What’s your thoughts on Christmas?

A long time coming :o)

Alright- NOW that we’ve got this amazing website FINALLY up (credit Alex Chatfield)- I suppose your interested in a few updates for each of us- which I’m sure the guys will have underway as soon as possible!

1. Just in case you were totally out of the loop for the last couple of months- I married my soulmate Matthew Ondish (he’s a loyal volunteer and my partner in crime) October 23rd 2009!  What a journey it has been over the last few weeks…being a newlywed brings so much responsibility, time management, and teaches you so much about the one you love…  I’ll definitely make sure to keep you all up on how things are evolving and what God is teaching me!

2. We have had a ton of changes in the student ministry (not just a super-amazing website-but life changes as well) over the course of a few months. Coming back from Accra, Ghana rocked my world- it opened my eyes and transformed my way of seeing life.  I no longer see the things the same…and blogging was certainly one of those things I havent seen the same- I promise to be just as clear, descriptive, and passionate in the blogs to come as I was in those blogs about Ghana.  By the way, I believe God has opened the door for me to journey there again this February- watch out world!!!

3. God is moving- blatantly obvious- He’s at work in my life, the Detour Team, the student ministry…YOUR LIFE.  Today we finish up Re[Act]- and I have seen Him so alive and vibrant throughout these last few months that I dont want a series like this, a series that shakes you and prompts us to move, to be over…mostly because once our Re[Act] series is over, I know that Christmas break comes in a few weeks.  Someone might say, ”What’s your deal Emily?  Christmas break is great….family…gifts…a vacation.”  I don’t know…we get on a roll here in the student ministry and as soon as we think we’ve got it, we take off 2 or 3 weeks and it almost seems like we have to start all over again with you all…  So yeah, mostly its because breaks=distnce=space=time and we want to be so connected to all of you.

So, i guess ill end this in the most appropriate way…with a question!  Respond as you wish:

How have you seen God changing in you, your friends, your community over the last few months?  How has it inspired you to move??

a vibrant people

 

This is a blog I wrote while I was in Ghana….Im still trying to get my videos uploaded and on this blogsite….be patient…

“Don’t be mistaken, Accra is a vibrant city, full of motion and life.  With hundreds of thousands of people living within miles of each other, there is always something exciting happening. There are very few moments without something to do. I have never seen a city with so many choices of entertainment.  And not the kind of entertainment that you imagine when I say the word.  It is not entertainment through facebook, myspace, or the web.  It’s not entertainment through television or radio or even through video games.  It is entertainment through basic life.  Ghanains find joy in the items that we see as boring.  You know, I have mentioned all of the things that have panged my heart, but I have said so little about how magnificent and beautiful these people are.  These are people who take all that they have and make use of it to the fullest.  They are proud of their culture and do all that they can to express it! They make their own clothing with colors that seem brighter than anything that I have seen at home.  They grow their own gardens and raise their own livestock and feed mostly off of what they themselves can harvest.  The sounds of their music send their feet in rhythmic action and they dance in elation with every opportunity that they have.  They will even invite complete strangers to dance in their wedding reception- We definitely wouldn’t do that in America!  I love that the children here can stay occupied for hours by just pushing a wheel down the street. I love that you can get a taxi with 6 people for the price of 1 taxi ride in America!  I love that you can get any food you want from a street vendor.  I love that children will run to you with smiles when they see you pull out a book to read to them.  I love that you can wave at any person and they will surely wave back at you!  I love that in Africa, time is not an issue and you can show up as late as you want and it won’t bother anyone.  I love that waking up in the morning means your ears are met with the chirps of exotic birds. And I love that the men and women are so passionate about their city and so welcoming to us! We think that they are without, because they don’t have direct access to all the items that we see as pleasurable, but once you have had a glimpse of their world, you see that they live abundantly with what they have been given!  It makes them a delight to be around! ”

no oasis

If you were to pick up a postcard from Ghana, it would depict faces that were smiling, tall luscious trees, fruit aplenty.  If you were to simpl land and take a taxi ride to your hotel in downtown Accra, your eyes wouldn’t see what I have seen.  Ghana is no oasis.  It is no place of overflowing happiness or joy.  It is not a city where its people shout with jubilation, but instead it is where noise, confusion, and anger drive through the streets, mosques, and in the shanty homes.  In america, we take for granted that there is food in our cubbards, and a relatively clean place to lay one’s head.  In Ghana the children don’t count on a meal being prepared in the evenings by their mother or father, they are only interested in getting something to eat which will fill their bellies, no matter what it is or where it comes from.  In america we are frustrated when someone uses up all the hot water or when someone drinks your last favorite soda from the fridge.  In Ghana, you must go a get your water from a gutter that is overflowing with trash and bring it back to a public “shower” in which some may even use for a bathroom.  They have little chance of getting a colling refreshment without worrying of where it came from.   In america we get overwhelmed by too many expectations, too little time, and not enough people to do the work.  In Ghana there are little to no expectations for education or career, and there are too many people wanting for jobs.

We have so much, but give so little.  They have so little, but have given me so much.  There hasn’t been one visit or stop that a Ghanain has not offered me their seat…or bought me a drink with the bit of money they made that day, or even to give me food when it would mean that they would have to go without food themselves.  My heart is shattered seeing all that I have, and seeing all that they don’t have.  I cannot fathom that life will be the same when I get home….